Jaxon, a birth story. 11 years and a few days later

I haven't ever written down the events of Jaxon's birth. 11 years is a long time later. I remember a lot of it. Some of it I am sure I have forgotten. I want to have it in words so I can look back and remember always.

I was very young when pregnant with Jaxon. 19. A child myself. I wanted to be a mom as long as I can remember. I played with so many dolls and was sure I was ready to be a great mom. My pregnancy was easy with him. No morning sickness, no real cravings. It never crossed my mind that anything could go wrong. And how lucky I was that nothing did. My sister Shauna and I were pregnant together. Her with her third, me with my first. She was 2 weeks ahead of me. Any symptom I had I just had to call and ask her if this was normal.  I didn't realize just how lucky I was to have this. We had the same doctor and often would time our visits together. We even found out the sex of the babies on the same day. 

I reached 40 weeks of pregnancy. Every visit to the doc revealed the same results.  No changes and labor didn't look like it would start anytime soon. I had a cold and was beyond frustrated. 2 days before my due date I got the same news. The dr sat and said we have some decisions to make. We could wait and let labor come naturally on its own. Um... No thank you. We could induce labor. Hmmm. Ok. If we did this the dr said my progress would be hard and slow. He didn't think I would dilate fully and if I did I had a 50% chance of needing a c section. What??? This is news to me! Why? Because the baby is close to 9 pounds and I have narrow hips that may not allow the passing of a baby this size. My third option: schedule a c section. 

At 19 I felt like this was a death sentence. No one wants to end up with a c section. Let alone just have one Witt out trying labor first. With tears steaming down my face, I left the office to talk to my mom and husband to make my decision.  After much discussion I decided to go ahead with the c section. This was a Thursday afternoon. A call from work to the dr and he let me know we could go in Friday morning. Wow this was really happening. 

After work we headed to the hospital to pre register. We then went out to our last dinner as childless people. Side note, pasta con broccoli is not a good choice for dinner right before surgery. 

Bright and early Friday November 22, we arrived at the hospital to have our baby. I remember being so excited. My swollen belly was soon to produce a baby. I kept thinking about what he was going to look like. A baby, my baby was going to be here soon. I was nervous about having surgery but the nerves were drowned by excitement. My mom and my husband john were there with me. Soon after we got there I was taken to per op. Here they asked me a zillion questions and administered my epideral. I was wheeled into the operating room. I was all alone and trying to take it all in. My arms were straight out to each if my side. A curtain was put up so I couldn't see the surgery. I could hear everything but see nothing. John was brought in to sit by me and his my hand. I remember tears of joy and just  repeating, we are going to have a baby.  Next thing I know, the anesthesiologist leans to my ear and says you are going to feel a lot of pressure, like an elephant is sitting on your chest. Then the sweetest noise ever... A cry. The dr held him up for me to see. And in an instant I feel in love. I was filled with joy and love and awe. This beautiful boy is mine. 

He was cleaned up and weighed while the doctors finished up surgery. Jaxon, weighing 8 lb 14 oz was handed to dad and I got to touch him and talk to him. As I was transferred to a bed to leave the OR I held my boy for the first time. 

Halloween 2013

I had a crazy Thursday morning. Kinda like every morning this past week. Woke up late, rushed kids to school and daycare. Was almost late to work. Once I got there things got only slightly better. I found out I would be rooming for 2 providers as we had someone out sick. Thankfully we were not that busy. I forced myself to be in a better mood after this. 

The nurse practitioner that I work for, Jen and I dressed up as teenage mint ant ninja turtles. Jen spray painted cake pans    green that we used as our shells. Then we had our ninja ties. It was a cute costume thought up and made in less than one day. 

We closed the office early and I got to pick the kiddos up early. All chaos reigned after this. The kids were on a super high from sugar. They had their school parties. I took them home and Jaxon and Serena were transformed into zombies. I have to say I was pretty proud of their face paintings. Payton was a lion this year. He had a really warm one price outfit that was really freakin cute. He even kept the hood up most of the night.

We went trick or treating with a friend and her family. The kids got a shit ton of candy. So for the next month they will be rotting their minds and teeth. We had a great time even though it was pretty windy and a bit rainy. After our candy haul we went to my friends fathers house and were treated to excellent chili and great company. We came home cold and exhausted. The kids may or may not have fallen onto bed with only washing their faces.

Calm down and focus

Here lately my life seems frazzled and crazy. I feel rushed and stressed on a daily basis. I can't seem to do things in calm and timely matter. I have been having trouble falling asleep at night. I seem to get my best sleep between 5 am and 8 am. We have to leave the house at 8:20. I haven't been able to pull my sleepy a hey body out of bed until 8:05 every morning this week. That means we have 15 minutes to get up get ready and out the door. The kids have been almost late every day.

This is not how I want to do things. My nights are crazy. I don't get home until after 6. Then there is dinner, homework, baths, ect. I feel like I don't get much quality time with the kids. 

I am making changes. I talked to my doctor. I have had back pain for 2 months straight. She has prescribed something to help stop the pain. Hopefully this means I can fall asleep at night and get up refreshed....earlier. Smooth mornings make for smooth days. I am going to get the kids clothes ready the night before. And pack my lunch too. This pain has made me feel like doing nothing. I haven't even been working out like I should. This weekend I am going to relax, enjoy my children and focus on our changes. 

I am going to do a post about our Halloween tomorrow. Happy weekend. 

Random happenings

We stay pretty busy during the week. Monday through Friday I feel like I go non stop until about 11:00 pm. Makes for one tired mom.

Sometimes it makes for cranky kids. Payton has been 2 for 2 weeks. He knows how to turn on the crying and whining. He will go from sweet little angel face to thrashing screaming demon baby in 2 seconds flat. Then he doesn't know why he was upset on the first place. Gah. The life of a 2 year old.

Rena and I have lost weight since moving onto a new place. I don't buy a lot of junk food or soda. We have also been eating mostly home made dinners. I am enjoying it. 

Work is work like always. I am thankful I have a job and enjoy it most of the time. Jaxon is doing great in school again. I  so freakin proud of him. He resently spent a week away at camp. In fifth grade that's what you get to do. He LOVED it.

Rena is getting better and better at school every day. She struggles with reading but we are working with her and her teachers to improve this.

Marbles and a laundry basket. Did you know this sounds like fire works? We'll it does and it's LOUD. But oh so fun. Until you listen to it for 10 straight minutes. Then you have a dog who is near heart attack and a mom who wants to rip her hair out. It is amazing I even have hair. 

If I didn't have a crazy life, I think I would be bore. A lot. 

It's almost the weekend. Thank goodness. 2 days off. This weekend we are going to six flags. Pretty seen excited about it. 

2

Going to do 2 posts in one day! A friend and blogger told me about an app for my phone that let's me blog and post pictures easy. Here are some pictures of my littles. And one of the new tattoo I got while my sister was in town 2 weeks ago. 

Weekender

This weekend my little dumplings are at their dad's houses.  I am alone.  I don't mind it at all.  It's nice to have a break.  But, about mid day Saturday, I start to miss them.  The noise, the craziness, the love.  I miss it all. 

That being said, I try to plan things to do when they are not home to keep myself busy.  So Friday night I met up with some guys and dolls and watched game one of the Cardinals vs Dodgers NLDS series.  A cute little place called Town Square Pub.  The service there is awesome, the beer is cold and the food good.  Had a great time, but did not stay till the end of the game as it ended up going into extra innings.

I worked Saturday morning.  That was busy busy busy.  I think the office had been closed the previous 2 Saturdays.  So we were slammed.  Saturday afternoon was spent quietly inside.  I cleaned a little, got a lot of reading in and even enjoyed a little nap.  I rented a terrible movie that I did not stop watching in hopes that something good would  happen.  2 and half hours of my life that I will never get back.  I do not recommend you watch this is the end with Seth Rogan.  I don't know how a movie with so many great actors in it can be so bad.

Sunday was great.  We had a girl's afternoon out.  We went to a new strip of outlet malls in St Louis.  They are called Premier Outlets.  We spent close to 5 hours there.  I got some great deals on a few Christmas presents for the kids and a secret pal at work.  And I even bought something for myself. 

I don't know how to get my pictures from my iphone to my computer, once I do I will bombard this place with pics.  Until then you get my words!!

This week at work is going to be weird.  Jen, the NP that I work for is out all week and I am not really scheduled anywhere.  I am sure they will find something for me to do.  I took Wednesday off to spend with the big kids.  That will break up the week pretty nice.  Hope everyone had a great weekend.  I am off to learn how to run.  This girl is going to complete a 5k before the end of the year.
Gasp I know.  I have NEVER been a runner so this should be interesting.  WAY back in 6th grade I went for a jog once.  Made it to the top of my street.  Then I landed on my face and banged up my knees.  Here's hoping that doesn't happen again. 

Back....I am back!!

I have been missing from this blog for almost a year.  I have been following other blogs like I usually do, I have just been without Internet for a long time.  I am so so glad to be back.  This is the place for me to empty my head.  Also a place for me to write about my day to day life with my family. 

A lot has happened in the almost year that I have been away.  Tim and I separated.  I got a different position at my job.  My kiddos and I are living in a new place.  It is taking some adjustment, but I think we are finally getting used to things. 

We still live in the same city (O'Fallon MO), just the other side.  We have a nice little condo that I absolutely adore.  It fits us just right. 

At work I am no longer sitting answering phones all day.  I am now working along side a nurse practitioner.  I get to do more hands on work and actually see people face to face.  The hours are different, but the work is more rewarding.

My parents moved up to Michigan.  I miss them a lot.  It is weird living here with out my sister and my parents.  I have my grandmother and for that I am very thankful. 

So back to Tim and I.  I think the beginning of the end for us was while my parents were staying with us.  Life was hard and we were not getting along the best.  Things never really recovered after this.  I was miserable and I think Tim was as well.  We agreed to a separation.  At this point I am not sure how things stand.  Tim tends to not believe and separations and doesn't think this will work for us.  So unfortunately I think I may be headed for the big D. 

I am thinking of changing the name of the Blog.  We are no longer going to have a last name that sounds like wax so it doesn't make a lot of sense to keep that name.  I don't know how to go about doing that, so who knows when it will happen. 

I am so happy to have a place to write again.  More to come soon.  Because this girl has Internet in her home again!!