Mom truth

This post is something that has been weighing on my mind lately. Being a mom. No one told me how hard it would be. I was the little girl who loved playing house and dolls. I loves watching my parents' friends kids. I always wanted to be a mom. When I was pregnant with Jaxon, I was excited to finally have a baby all my own. A baby to hold and snuggle and feed. Little did I know Jaxon didn't want to be held unless he was moving. He never snuggled and the boy ate, only to vomit 10 minutes later. It was beyond stressful. 

11 years later and I feel like I have a handle on the stress part of it, and I get kicked in the face again. This past year we have struggled. Not only me, but my children. Tim and I were separated. Jaxon's dad has also been seperated from his wife. This has proven to be hard on Jaxon.  He is my bright kid. The one who gets up and actually likes to go to school. The one who has gotten straight A's for 3 years in a row. Now he only has one A. I am not disappointed in him. I am in me. He's suffering. I am going to help him focus on himself and school for the next few weeks.

Serena is also struggling. She has always been a slower reader. I have read with her and worked with her. While everyone else is moving forward I feel like Rena is stuck. She is also not picking up other things. I am having a hard time dealing with this. I want to deny that there is something wrong, but in my gut I know there is. She has issues with her behavior and know with learning. I want to help her. I don't know where to start. I am going to talk to her teacher and her doctor and see what the next steps are. She already receives speech therapy and is in a special reading group at school. I am going to get all the help that she needs. 

Being a mom is hard as hell. Even after learning this the hard way I wouldn't trade them for anything. We'll maybe my 19 year old body and millions of dollars. I kid I kid!!